Memories are Films about Ghosts

We are all distant memories and it is ghosts that we are in love with;

People long gone,

Replaced by distorted replicas of the familiar faces we once gazed upon.

Time is cruel; both too fast and too slow,

Letting us forget so much and hold on to more still.

I remember you but you are not that person

And I am probably not the person you remember either,

But I remember you.

On the Matter of Laughing

I've always liked to think I was funny. I even spent a period of time as a young lad considering myself a comedian and thinking that that would be what I would do with my life. As much as I never stuck with that comedian career path the essence of why I had that desire remains with me: Laughing is important to me. I like to laugh, whether it's watching something funny on my own or just enjoying life with the company I keep. I'd even go so far as to say I love to laugh.

Sometimes there is nothing I like more than to have a good laugh at something. At times I have found myself sitting for hours watching comedians on TV, I love watching comedy of all sorts and frankly I think I've a broad appreciation for most forms of comedy.

Of course not everything makes me laugh and some things that are meant to be funny irritate me but still I enjoy a variety of comedy styles.

I love old comedy and new comedy; from Road to Bali and Some Like it Hot to Anchorman and Role Models, from Morcombe and Wise, to Ross Noble, from Porridge and MASH to Arrested Development and Community. If I can sit down and forget about the stresses and pressures of everyday life and just laugh for a little while, how wonderful it can all seem.

More important than what I watch of course is who I spend my time with. Who wants to spend time with people who bring you down? I want to be able to spend time with people who make me happy, who hopefully I make happy, who together we can relax, be comfortable and just enjoy the happiness in life. That for me is essential with the people I consider friends; can I have a laugh with them? Not even are these funny people, just are these people I can talk openly with and find the joy and humour in what often seems like an oppressive world?


Life would be miserable if we didn't get to laugh more than we get depressed. I try and make sure I live my life that way; the laughter should always outweigh the tears. Life is good and being able to laugh at it only makes it better!

O, What a Rogue and Peasant Slave am I

I had heard that any dream worth having was worth fighting for. People are always telling me that if I really wanted something I'd make it happen but sometimes you just know it's a lost cause. It's hard to fight for something when you already feel like you've lost the battle and it is surprising how much you can get hurt on the sidelines. Maybe I am too weak, too cowardly for my own good.

"Am I a coward?... I am pigeon livered and lack gall".

This in and of itself could be reason enough for my failure and my failure to fight for what I want. When it comes to fight or flight? I guess I tend to choose flight and maybe that's reason enough, if I'm not willing to fight for it why would I deserve it?

Particularly in matters of love. If I'm not willing to fight for it, how deserving of it could I possibly be? People want that guy who's going to boldly rush the field bearing your flag, dodging all obstacles and attacks and who is willing to plant it where it matters and swear to hold his ground. My problem is when I think of putting myself in that sort of situation instead of being seen as the heroic guy making a curageous move for love, I'll be seen as the annoying stalker guy who should really know when someone isn't interested...

My Salad Days

Getting older is an unusual phenomenon. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm getting older just more tired! Things that were done easily in youth now become a chore. Staying up all night? Why would you? Sleeping on the floor of a friends house? Why on earth? Eating junk food till your sick? No thanks, and spending all your time in crazy noisy places with crazy noisy people? Pass!

No, that doesn't mean I don't want to have fun anymore and be silly and stupid at times, I'm just less willing to put up with the uncomfortableness that often came as a result of some of the dumb things you do when you're young.

And anyway, no matter how old you get there will always be people who look at you as still being young, simply because they are older still and then there are the young people that will suddenly be unable to put an age range on you other than older, late 20s to 40s is all the same when you're a kid; it's just old.

There are of course times when I still feel like a young guy (despite how young kids seems these days, and how wide the age range is growing with regard to whom I consider a kid) and there are time when I feel quite old.

I've accepted that I am out of the loop of what's young and cool and frankly I think part of ageing is when you can do that gladly. Who wants to be caught up in all that nonsense, with their stupid clothes and their awful music?

Everyone gets older, everyone's youth fades away, we all wonder about what we could have done differently, how we could have done more with our youth and in turn how youth is thus wasted on the young. The reality is however that at some stage we need to embrace ageing and enjoy the changes that come. Remember passed times fondly, try and keep a youthful attitude where possible while embracing adult sensibilities. The salad days may have passed but that doesn't mean the good days are all gone. As long as we're alive we can enjoy our lives for what they are. We live now not in the past and frankly who cares how old you are?